Dr Ken McGill's Blog

  (An excerpt from   Cultivating Love: Enhancing Communication   by Dr Ken McGill) What follows are some simple suggestions to assist you and your partner to respectfully resolve any conflict that is currently creating an impasse between the two of you. A    Attack the issue and not the person.  Remember, the other person is not your enemy, but your teammate. Stay in your Adult Ego State and respond accordingly. B    Brainstorm Solutions . Use your creativity as you approach the issue at hand. Ask questions that generate discussion and possible solutions to the matter(s) at hand. C    Calm things down by taking a TIME OUT . Time Outs are to last for 20 minutes and up to 24 hours, and are marked by you brainstorming solutions to the impasse. D   Deal with the Here and Now . Stay with the presenting issue, and use your communication tools to resolve one issue at a time. Stay present; don’t overwhelm. E    Equal time goes to both participants . Use a 3 minute Egg timer to ensure that both

  (An excerpt from   Cultivating Love: When Secrets Surface   by Dr Ken McGill) At any given time you will want to have your tool belt on in order to quickly and successfully work on and eventually resolve any problem that pops up that may threaten your progress. What follows below are some suggested tools that you will want to have handy because more than likely you will need to access these “tools” rapidly and often as you continue your work in protecting the garden. What’s in Your Tool Belt? Make sure you have good quality tools that help you to facilitate relationship repair and to feel good about your work and the outcomes you wish to achieve. The “tools” are: T: You’ll Need a way to Hydrate yourself: Embrace Your Spiritual Disciplines Everyone needs water when working in the garden or else it will be a very short workday! Hydrating yourself with prayer or any other spiritual discipline that grounds, cools or empowers you is necessary. The first and vital step is between you and y